The last three years, I've more or less kind of existed. Sure, I've tried to move on, find a new relationship, but, something always falls apart, or g...ts in the way. Distance, time, personallity conflict, all have been factors in why nothing works out. Try as I might, I can't get you out of my head, or my heart. I'm reminded of something your mom said, the day we buried you.... "I hope he lives a long and healthy life, and every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, to remind him of the hell. ”Since I didn't have anything else planned, I figured, why not? Surveying the line, I saw there were still about ten people ahead of me, so I expected a good hour-long wait. “If you don't mind me showing up in about an hour, then, yeah.”“That's fine,” Hannah said, smiling. “I'll see you then. Room 483.” Watching her walk out the door, I couldn't help but notice a slight wiggle in her hips. I dismissed it, and went back to reading an InstaTweet post about one of the presidential candidates. I remember her coming to tennis to cheer us on. i think it was just as I started travelling and stopped playing tennis that Matt and his Norwegian missus got divorced.Since then, I haven't seen Matt at all. A few years ago he Facebook stalked me and we had a few exchanges on there but when I was back in Queensland (where I grew up) we never seemed to be able to arrange a chance to catch up, or have a hit of tennis which would be great.It was Matt who messaged me just after midday that Monday.. I waspuzzled about why this happened just at that time, then I decided tocalculate how much time I had already spent as Lena and came up with afigure around 28 full days. This showed that my time as Lena wascumulative.Of course, one of the first things I wanted to do as I started to liveas Lena for the weekends was to have sex. This was not as easy as itlooks, though. I began spending time in bars and dance houses, but I gotcold feet anytime a guy approached me flirting. They were all.
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